Mondego's Treasure Analysis

I hope you enjoyed the first short story! If you want to leave any comments about it or discuss it even further go ahead and comment on the story or Groups section, I would love to hear from you!

Here is a short analysis and some commentary on the story, and some themes surrounding it:

I think "Mondego’s Treasure" is a poignant story for some since it delves into themes of guilt, temptation, and the consequences of greed. When I was first thinking about the ideas of this story and how I wanted to write it, I had some trouble with the type of narrative in which I wanted to convey it. I felt that the narrative being presented as a confessional letter from Anastacio to his wife, Leticia, would be the best way to quickly reveal the depth of his torment and regret. This epistolary format adds a layer of intimacy and immediacy to the narrative. It allows readers to delve deep into Anastacio’s psyche and experience his remorse and despair firsthand. The detailed and descriptive language used to portray his experiences and emotions enhances the story’s impact right away.

Anastacio recounts how he was seduced by the promise of immense wealth after encountering a mysterious fire and an enigmatic old man who claims the fire marks the spot of buried treasure. The idea of the fire and the treasure actually comes from old tales my father would say around family dinners. There are legends from where he grew up about old revolutionaries such as “Pancho Villa”- since he was well known in Chihuahua, Mexico. How they would bury treasure around the mountainous regions to later come back for them. Apparently, when someone tending their cattle or just driving by the dirt roads saw a small flame like a campfire flame, that meant that there was buried treasure there. The explanation that locals would give according to my father was that gasses from the metals and materials the treasure was composed of- whether it was paper money or metal coins- would build up and eventually escape through the earth causing combustion once it reached oxygen. I do not know the science behind that explanation and I do not know how possible that may be, but my father would say that people would attempt to dig these treasures up and report the smell of sulfur. Another inspiration for the buried treasure and the fire comes from Dracula, at the beginning of the novel when Jonathan Harker is being escorted to the Count’s castle. They encounter multiple blue flames which the stagecoach driver- Dracula himself- stops at every flame to inspect it. Jonathan Harker then later asks the Count when he is having dinner: 

I asked him of some of the strange things of the preceding night, as for instance, why the coachman went to the places where he had seen the blue flames. He then explained to me that it was commonly believed that on a certain night of the year, last night, in fact, when all evil spirits are supposed to have unchecked sway, a blue flame is seen over any place where treasure has been concealed.

"That treasure has been hidden," he went on, "in the region through which you came last night, there can be but little doubt. For it was the ground fought over for centuries by the Wallachian, the Saxon, and the Turk. Why, there is hardly a foot of soil in all this region that has not been enriched by the blood of men, patriots or invaders. In the old days there were stirring times, when the Austrian and the Hungarian came up in hordes, and the patriots went out to meet them, men and women, the aged and the children too, and waited their coming on the rocks above the passes, that they might sweep destruction on them with their artificial avalanches. When the invader was triumphant he found but little, for whatever there was had been sheltered in the friendly soil.”

"But how," said I, "can it have remained so long undiscovered, when there is a sure index to it if men will but take the trouble to look? "The Count smiled, and as his lips ran back over his gums, the long, sharp, canine teeth showed out strangely. He answered.

"Because your peasant is at heart a coward and a fool! Those flames only appear on one night, and on that night no man of this land will, if he can help it, stir without his doors. And,dear sir, even if he did he would not know what to do. Why, even the peasant that you tell me of who marked the place of the flame would not know where to look in daylight even for his own work. Even you would not, I dare be sworn, be able to find these places again?"

- Dracula, Chapter 2

Despite the warnings and the eerie circumstances, Anastacio digs up the treasure, which leads to a life of material prosperity but spiritual and emotional desolation. The cursed gold comes with a dreadful price: the lives of his children. Each of his three children dies in a tragic manner associated with their eighteenth birthday, fulfilling the devil's bargain Anastacio made. The story culminates in Anastacio's realization that he cannot escape his fate and must make a final, fatal payment to the devil- which I made a character associated with the smell of sulfur that people would claim was present around these treasures.

Some themes that I wanted to touch up on while I was writing this were:

Guilt and Redemption: Anastacio's letter is an outpouring of his immense guilt. He seeks forgiveness from his wife and attempts to come to terms with his actions, understanding that his greed led to the suffering and death of his loved ones. I tried to convey in the narrative the heavy burden of guilt and the longing for redemption that seems out of reach.

Temptation and Consequences: I wanted to illustrate the classic theme of temptation leading to dire consequences. The treasure, representing ultimate wealth, is a temptation that Anastacio cannot resist despite the ominous circumstances. The tale serves as a moral lesson on the dangers of succumbing to greed and the irreversible consequences that follow.

Supernatural and Horror Elements: I wanted the presence of the old man, who is implied to be the devil, and the supernatural fire that marks the treasure’s location, to be that of the supernatural. I wanted these elements to heighten the story’s tension and underscore the gravity of Anastacio’s bargain.

Loss and Sacrifice: The story explores the themes of family, loss, and sacrifice. Anastacio’s initial intention behind seeking wealth is to provide for his family. However, his actions lead to their destruction. The narrative examines how his sacrifices, driven by misguided intentions, ultimately result in the loss of what he holds dearest.

The names for the characters were pulled out of thin air, I have no association with anyone by those names but I wanted the characters to be tragic and flawed, especially Anastacio. He is driven by a desire to provide for his family, but ultimately his greed and desperation lead to the downfall of them all. His remorse and despair are palpable, making him a sympathetic protagonist. Leticia’s presence, although she is not the primary focus, looms large in the narrative. She represents the life Anastacio has destroyed through his actions. Her character serves as a silent witness to his confession and a symbol of the normalcy and happiness that were lost. 

I took the character of Fernand Mondego from The Count of Monte Cristo and switched it up to Colonel Mondego. Since I disliked Fernand, I wanted the Colonel to be slimy and gather his wealth in the most cowardly way possible. I was thinking of ways to highlight the immense wealth that was discovered by Anastacio by thinking about the treasure Edmond Dantes finds, that is another reason why the family was able to be so well off for so long as described by Anastacio. 

This was my first short story, I do hope you enjoyed it, I appreciate the support! I have submitted my stories to the copyright office of the United States, soon I will post those disclosures on the website. Look for the next story coming soon at the beginning of July! A little hint for the next short: Las Cinco Muertes.